The Everything Parent's Guide to the Defiant Child by Jesse Jayne Rutherford Kathleen Nickerson

Author:Jesse Jayne Rutherford, Kathleen Nickerson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-01-06T16:00:00+00:00

Why You Should Help Your Child Now

If you’re thinking it would be easier to stick with the status quo, you’re right—for now. But later, the chickens that are today’s unchecked defiant behavior will come home to roost in your family’s nest. You, your partner, your other children, and most of all, the defiant child in question will pay a stiff price if you don’t take action.

Your Child’s Future

If your child’s defiant behavior continues unabated, it will make getting along with others and complying with authority difficult his whole life. Not to put too blunt a point on it, if you don’t help your child now, his defiance will likely be transferred to society at large. He will not have learned the consequences of defiance nor will he be reluctant to defy the law and others’ rights, so crime becomes a real possibility for your child’s future. Unfortunately, the law doesn’t have a communication-based assertive approach, so if your child breaks a law and is caught, he could end up in prison, and no focus on the positives will be able to change that.

Alert

Kids often mimic the behavior they’ve learned at home, including abuse. If someone in your family is abusing your child, your child is likely to look for abusive relationships as a teen and adult. Your child could become the victim or perpetrator of teenage dating violence, spousal abuse, and abuse of his own children in the future.

You can probably imagine what this will mean for your child’s opportunities for higher learning or professional success. A life of crime and disregard for others doesn’t usually go hand-in-hand with college graduation or promotions in white-collar professions. Neither does it bode well for your child’s future romantic and family relationships—just imagine how much stress it would put on your marriage right now if your spouse were also regularly breaking the law, unconcerned by the consequences.

Your Relationship with Your Child

If you fail to take action on your child’s behalf, no matter how unpleasant she might be, she’ll know it and resent it. Again, your role as a parent includes “protector,” and your child is counting on you to fulfill it. Failure to stick with her through these rough times will leave her feeling abandoned, realizing a child’s greatest fear.

If you value your child’s future well-being, not to mention her relationship with you personally, you must not wait to understand and stop defiant behavior in an assertive, loving way. The first thing you must do to help her is to deepen your bond with her.

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